Estrangement or going "no-contact" is a circumstance that is becoming familiar to many. Recent studies show that at least 27% of adults in America are estranged from at least one family member. Whether it is a fracture between parents and their adult child or a grievance between siblings or a lack of cohesion with the in-laws; it ultimately results in pain that can be difficult to process due to the complex nature of the relationships.
Maybe your mom was emotionally unavailable, and your dad was passive and physically absent most of the time. maybe there was an addiction or an abusive situation that dictated the familial disconnection. Maybe a sibling took sides against you or chooses avoidance to escape conflict. Maybe your in-laws are not happy about your choice of spouse or voicing boundaries regarding grandchildren became the trigger of division. Maybe you are the "black sheep" or the "scape goat" that resisted negative generational patterns and broke the established unspoken rules of your family of origin. Maybe you grew and they didn't, or perhaps they grew, and you didn't. Maybe you have tried to communicate, and it didn't go well. Maybe you feel unheard, misunderstood or rejected as a result of numerous attempts to communicate. Maybe there was a divorce, and you find that you are the unpopular or the less financially stable parent. Maybe you did the best you could and are finding out that it was not good. Maybe it is a culmination of differing religious views, cultural differences or political perspectives that divide. Maybe a personality disorder or pathology designed the circumstances. The nuances may be many, but the results can be uniformly painful and confusing.
Have you or are you currently experiencing the pain of estrangement? I am interested in hearing your story and how you have navigated this most difficult relational terrain. What Questions come up that you find difficult to answer? What steps have you taken toward repair? What has worked or not worked? What lessons have been learned that you could share with someone else struggling with a no-contact relationship? Is there anything you would do differently?
If you are willing to share your story with me, please contact me by clicking on the "contact info" link above and we will set up a time to talk. Your information will remain confidential and there is no fee associated.