Things that Matter and Things that are True.

February 19, 2010

You know my thoughts, you search my heart, you know me. I have thought myself to be transparent. I have hidden things in my heart and you are allowing me to see my nakedness. You know before I speak, yet you give me the pleasure of your attention. Here is my nakedness. I am struggling, but will keep moving forward to uncharted territory. I am scared of what friends and family think about my decisions. What does it matter what others think? Right? I want people to see me and to believe in me. I wonder if people knew me in my nakedness would they accept or reject me. What if people knew I doubt myself at times, I beat myself up over how I might be perceived, I experience depression, I take medication, I am easily distracted, I am habitually late, I live in my robe, my house is disorganized, I am not focused and efficient, I don't like to babysit, I expect to be perfect, but am far from it, I fear rejection from my mom, I worry excessively about being overweight, there are people that I don't like, I am in debt-again, I like to stay up late and sleep late, I am very emotional, I am addicted to Dr Pepper, I don't complete things, I get my kids to school late, I have areas of past abuse that I struggle with, I watch soap operas, I don't pray four hours a day. So many things...

Present Day Reflection

Attachment wounds can tell us things that aren't true about who we are. People leave. He never leaves. One matters and one is true; we get to choose what has the bigger impact.

Question:

There are things that matter and things that are true; can we reconcile the distance between the two?